Here's another challenge taken from The Next Great Horror Writer Contest. Again I didn't win this challenge but I thought it was funny. The challenge was to invent a "horror product" and write like a radio type ad for it. I came up with Dead Fresh which has many valuable uses as far as I'm concerned. So here you go... my quick script for a 30 second-ish radio commercial. Enjoy!
Setting the scene: A vampire father & young son are sitting outside under a full moon on a cloudless night, crickets are chirping, a wolf howls in the distance…
Son: Dad?
Father: Vhat son?
Son: Do you ever get that… not so fresh feeling?
Father: Bwahaha… but ov course! That’s why I use Dead Fresh.
Son: Dad?
Father: Vhat son?
Son: Do you ever get that… not so fresh feeling?
Father: Bwahaha… but ov course! That’s why I use Dead Fresh.
Announcer: Do you struggle to keep the fetid stench of decay out of your clothes? Coffin? Your basement? Then Dead Fresh is just for you! Dead ten minutes? Ten centuries? Hiding one body or a thousand rotting corpses? Don’t worry, Dead Fresh kills even the strongest creeping stench of death! Just ask Pogo the Clown!
Pogo the Clown: I had dozens of corpses in my crawlspace for years and no one even knew! Thanks Dead Fresh!
Pogo the Clown: I had dozens of corpses in my crawlspace for years and no one even knew! Thanks Dead Fresh!
Dr. West: Hi, I’m Dr. Herbert West inventor of Dead Fresh. My patented formula fights off stench by temporarily reanimating dead cells. It worked on my mentor Dr. Carl Hill and it will work for you!
Announcer: Get two cans of Dead Fresh all for the low, low price of $6.66! Supplies are limited so call 1-666-NO-STINK Today! Don’t let a little death ruin your life! Act now and get a travel size absolutely free! Smell as fresh as a daisy with Dead Fresh, it gets the dead out!
Announcer: Get two cans of Dead Fresh all for the low, low price of $6.66! Supplies are limited so call 1-666-NO-STINK Today! Don’t let a little death ruin your life! Act now and get a travel size absolutely free! Smell as fresh as a daisy with Dead Fresh, it gets the dead out!
Feind Gottes
Horror Author. Metalhead. Cthulu's cuddle buddy.
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